BEDWETTING:
Such a simple word, but one that can be so destructive.
This subject has always been something few speak openly of. Most information guides or articles will refer to statistics and ways to "treat" the condition.
I've seen the numbers and stats over the course of dealing personally with this issue and perhaps for scientific purposes statistics are great. I know first hand that when dealing with bedwetting issues on a daily basis, numbers can complicate the situation and even make it more stressful then it already is.
I will say that for the sanity of our children , we as parents, caregivers and anyone else who has any influence over the well being of children in their care, we need to talk about bedwetting. It needs to stop being a taboo subject. We need to face the fact that most children beyond toilet training will wet their bed at some point in their childhood, if we can help kids realize there's nothing wrong with them, it can go along way in easing their anxiety.
1.Most children start off by first being toilet trained during the day,
2. This is usually followed by the natural progression of being dry at night, even if only for 1 night.
3. At some point it starts with an "accident" which again is completely normal and expected, in fact
many parents have their child wear pull-ups at night expecting an "accident".
4. About half of children continue to wet their beds more than what would be considered
occasional and would be considered to have "nocturnal enuresis"
5. Then come the doctor visits. First to determine whether or not there is another reason behind it.
In some cases there are. For many it is simply a waiting game. When ?
6. The only thing left to do is wait.
Because our doctors truly have no idea, when how, why, they insert all of the known statistics many of which are based on age. Speaking from my own experience with every year that my child is not one of the percentage who grows out of it, his self-esteem/confidence sinks by about that same percentage. It's ok not to know.
My son started was just as any other child, potty trained at 2 ½ , dry at night by 3. Average. Being dry at night lasted about 8 mths; there was nothing traumatic in his life that would trigger the bedwetting. So it was a bit of a shock when he began having more than one accident every few days. It was a gradual increase, a day or two this week, then a few more until within a few months, he would have more wet nights than dry.
Of course we brought him to our GP. He'll grow out of it, try these tips.
We followed the instructions, no liquids after dinner, make sure he empties his bladder.etc Still, no change. He was still young enough at the time to wear pull-ups so we dealt with it. Fast forward a few years, still no change, he was wet EVERY night, and I am not exaggerating when I say my son had not one night of dryness since 3 ½ yrs. old.
Using pullups stopped becoming an option, due to my son's physicality , he was too big for the small sizes, and too small for the large. More often then not leaking through and soiling his bed .Because he was such a heavy sleeper , he would not wake even after urinating . He was prescribed an assortment of topical steroid creams to help with the skin rashes on his lower torso and groin area. They looked like burns and caused him so much pain and agony, just the simple act of washing himself, was painful. They were caused because of remaining in urine for extended periods. And because he was not in taking enough fluids during the day his urine was extremely acidic. It didn't matter how many times we woke him up to urinate in the middle of the night, he would wake up with his bed soiled. Its seemed like just when one would clear, another would start, and his body would become accustomed to the prescribed cream and cease to work. So back to the GP for another prescription. We had discovered , that using a different steroid cream each day, worked much better.
There was nothing I could do to ease his discomfort , I used a hypoallergenic laundry soaps, body soaps. and contrary to its name, we have had a few leaks through waterproof bed covers, although they do help keep the mattress dryer.
Our GP at this point, decided to order more tests to rule out any other conditions.
Nothing was out of the ordinary. From all accounts he was a typical healthy child.
A referral to a specialist, a prescription for DDVAP Desmopressin which is supposed to reduce the amount of urine produced at night. It was heartbreaking to see his glimmer of hope shattered yet again after seeing this Specialist , and taking the medication . It didn't work. There was no change, even after an increase in the dosage. Still nothing.
It was more to him then just sleepovers. This condition impacted every aspect of his life. From the time he woke up every morning , he had to shower, his bed would be stripped , and so on.
It was about the time he entered Grade 4 that I saw a drastic change in him.
In Grade 4 , students are required to change for gym. A big problem for him due to his rashes. He tried his best to wear his shorts under his pants so he wouldn't have to do a complete change. Kids are rough on each other at the best of times. Give them something to prey on , and even the good ones end up going with the flow.
I will never forget my son was invited to a friends birthday sleepover party. Being very anxious my son confided in his friend about wetting the bed and his hesitation about sleeping over. One of the very best things I've heard from any child . He pat my son on the back, and said to him" don't worry I'm older than you, and I just stopped, you'll grow out of it too". That meant the world to my son, he had a friend who understood, someone his age who had been through it. He could talk about his anxieties and fears. Not to mention the hope it gave him. After all if his friend stopped , surely he would too.
I know how fortunate he was for having a friend to talk too, so many children don't. Even though his father and I did our best to reassure him that it would be ok. I know in his head those statistical numbers keep racing, I've caught him searching for information on the internet.
~ by the time your 10 you have a 95% chance of staying dry. not a great number if your one of the 5%.
~ about 1 in 100 people will continue to have nocturnal enuresis into adulthood
I have looked into alarms and programs of all sorts. What really annoyed me is the amount of money that these organizations and programs want to charge. They claim to want to help, and perhaps they can for some. I never went any further for many reasons. One of the main ones being that what if we went through all of this and it still didn't work, I think that would have been such a blow for my son, I'm really not sure he would ever heal from it.
I have no medical training, but I know my son. What I discovered after asking many questions was that one of the key components of all of these programs and systems were to basically have a "fluid intake regimen" . If you have ever known a child who wets the bed every night, then you will know at some point they begin to try to mange things on there own. For my son, he only drank water in sips and very little of it. Something that is hard to monitor when they are in school 5 days of the week. I'm almost certain that he was dehydrated at least half of his childhood.
We had talked about this new regimen ,and that he would ultimately have control of. I had purchased a large water bottle that I labelled specific times , for him it worked to drink 8 oz. every 2 hours. So his bottle was labelled 9am, 11am, 1pm and 3pm aside from whatever he drank during breakfast , dinner or even throughout his daily activities, He proactively took charge of his own well being, by committing to drink at least 8 oz. of water each and every day . After a few days he had his first dry night. A few nights later another. He no longer suffers rashes , even after sleeping through the urination.
My best guess as to why this worked for him and perhaps why it had taken so long? I believe his bladder was on a different clock. It perhaps got used to urinating during nighttime, and got lazy, as silly as that may sound. Most of the time he did not take in the fluids his body needed, no matter how much I forced it on him, therefore his bladder was not working as it should. By drinking what he needed during the day , he started urinating more during the day. Therefore his bladder was resting during nighttime.
Oh how I wish I could turn back time and try this sooner.
He is now 13, the bad news is he is not completely dry each and every night. But the great news is he has more dry nights than wet. His longest stretch 14 days, Quite a victory considering where he started from. Whether this success is attributed to his fluid intake regimen or simply his body and mind maturing. We'll take it as a win.
Although this condition doesn't consume his life any longer. It still haunts him , and probably always will.
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